This unfinished thread, left dangling.

One day, we’ll pick it up again,

Pull it tight, pull each other closer,

But for now it floats in the breeze,

Gentle and light, knowing it’s okay.

It is just within our reach for when,

But we wait for when the other is ready.

Sometimes things just float along,

And we just glide along with them

Waiting for the winds to change,

Sometimes growing restless,

Not knowing why it is this way,

But we wait for a time to pull again.

As the waning moon rises in the East,

I take awe in its three-dimensionality.

Tonight, it is bright and clear

As I take my passenger home.

Then I find slumber in a familiar room.

This room catapults me back to childhood.

From here though, I no longer see the moon.

I find both peace and angst here,

Knowing life is changing before my eyes.

The toll of this past week was high,

Although my own stakes were not impeded.

But the love of family and the realizations…

Of how much my family has changed,

It tears my heart out knowing I can do…

Nothing.

So I try to have jokes to make them laugh,

Redirect when things are getting too heavy,

And just help, even if that means only

holding a hand of someone facing the worst,

Hugging the shoulders of someone forgetful,

Or guiding someone through complexity

She once helped me navigate herself.

Now details matter more than ever,

Like…the scars on the moon’s surface,

The glow it casts below,

it’s pull on the waters,

Ever changing.

As I sit here looking into the distance,

A beautiful sight catches my eyes.

Among the vulture circling the barren forest,

A large red-tailed hawk zooms by,

He soars through the sky with purpose,

His wings strong in the wind currents,

And steady as the clouds part ways,

Showing off his feathers against blue sky.

I stop, and I breathe, lost in the moment.

Thump thump thump goes my heart

Thud thud thud goes my heels

It’s been long since I’d seen a treadmill,

But outside walking here not advisable

So I stare at a television on the wall,

This is tougher than pounding the pavement

And so much more boring, but

I need to get rid of some stress and so I go

A few minutes more, then that’s it.

Bed calls, it’s been a long day.

Hammers hammer away behind my eyes,

Sweat pours from my temples,

and my hair curls and sticks to my scalp.

Keeping calm as the family drama unfolds.

Breathing in this mask for hours on end,

I just want to go outside and rip it off,

Feel the cool air on my face,

Look to the sky and with the clouds, cry.

Grief sets in before it’s due.

Sadness fills the heart.

Hoping for a chance to soothe her,

For a chance to say goodbye.

Tomorrow and the next days will be hard.

I never would wish this on anyone,

Not even my worst enemy.

Grateful I don’t make the final decision.

Now is the time to be strong,

To hold hands, to dry others tears.

I don’t know what I’m doing…

Go lawyer up, greedy ones.

But you can’t even go see her?

You are fifteen effing minutes away.

What an awful way to be!

It’s an ugly thing

When family doesn’t get along.

I’ve stayed out of it, playing Switzerland,

As you all tore each other apart.

It was hard to stay out of it,

Easier because of the distance perhaps,

But Dad told me it was best.

Now I see Dad’s point of view;

I didn’t get it way back then.

I wanted kumbayah’s all around.

It breaks my heart, but not much I can do.

It makes me mad as hell,

I don’t understand why you all are this way.

Step back and breathe.

Relax your heart and mind.

Family always matters, and

you provided the best guidance you could.

Her life is precious, even at her age,

there wasn’t really a choice to be made.

Mother listened, aunt concurred.

Brother-in-law can go eff himself.

He’s not her man anyway!

Now, we wait,

one day, two days, maybe more.

Only time will tell, and

now it’s time for you to rest.

A light trickle of water cascades down,

The babble of the creek is soothing.

The reflection of pinks, yellow, and green,

Remind us that spring will soon be here.

The Ipe trees will be in full bloom,

Bringing joy and smiles to the neighborhood.

And the warming air will remind us,

This is the most beautiful time of the year.