poetry, writing

Rise

Years of self-induced torment lay at her feet.

Ripped to shreds are thoughts of doubt and fear.

Torn to pieces are the self-loathing and apologetic existence.

Torched and burned until only embers and ash remain.

From the smoke, she rises renewed to face another day.

About Me, writing

Becoming Routine

Late last year, I set out on a journey for my own health. I am slowly making progress, but I have seen my second wave of good results this past month.

I began first by just tracking what I ate last October. No diet changes. It is eye opening if you’ve never done this before. Nothing was way crazy with my diet, but tracking made some bad habits very apparent.

As a note, I am a middle-aged woman who has fought weight battles since age 5. So, unlike guys who can just think about dieting and lose 5 pounds, I have to work at it!

Next, I straightened up those bad habits. By December, the 5 COVID pounds I had gained were gone. I still let myself enjoy food, just in moderation now.

Christmas Eve, while talking with my mom, a couple harsh realities smacked me in my face…not my Mom, mind you! One was the realization that I had gotten myself to a place I didn’t like….and it was up to me to address it.

I knew I needed to do more, but needed to set a why. Just feeling better should have been a good enough motivator. I found a beautiful location I would like to visit one day, the Jacob Hamblin Arch, in Utah. Now, for me to do that, I need a much smaller body, the ability to hike for two days with a pack, and the ability to use a rope to climb up and down in some spots during the hike. Hey, go big or go home as they say!

So, I decided to tackle the most basic aspect first…walking the walk! I built up my walking from an average of 2,000 steps a day to now over 10,000 steps a day. I have currently dropped another 12 pounds.

I have a long way to go, and there are days I’d still rather sleep or lounge all evening on the sofa, but I keep giving myself no room for that complacency. I’d love any hints and guidance from any hikers on where to go next!

I know I will hit plateaus, but I am going to work like hell to overcome them. I will be my own cheerleader on this journey.

If you are on a similar journey, don’t give up. We can do this!

writing

The Challenge of the Goal

The air was cold on this dreary Wednesday in normally sunny and warm Florida. Every day had been tolerable or comfortable to make my goal this year — 4 miles or 10,000 steps, whichever is greater. Today however is a challenge.

I awoke, tired and sore. The bed was a cozy and comfortable warm hug. Cocooned in the comforter, I could have slept more, but the need to work forced me finally out of bed. No early miles today.

The morning flew in a flurry of needs from my job. Make this schedule, follow up on that, walk through a problem here, solve that there. Finally lunch came. My fellow came out and offered to make lunch, and afterward, coaxed me into a loop to get in my first mile. I donned my father’s fleece jacket, a navy jacket with an emblem from the Smokies, which my Mom had found a few years ago. It is a warm reminder of him after his being gone for 15 years.

Back to work and the day dragged on with the drudgery of more work, more problems to solve, more things to accomplish. Finally I wrapped up my day and donned my shoes for some more steps.

Pains invaded my hip and foot as I tried to get moving. The cold air penetrated to my bones. Make it through the first mile, that will warm me up, then the rest is easy, I told myself, but my limp worsened with each step.

As I rounded the first half mile for this journey, the wind turned stronger and the sky began dropping a fine mist on my head. I turned and headed back home. Fifty percent of the way…

Six hours to go, maybe I’ll get the motivation to finish this after dinner. Hopefully the pain subsides and the rain lifts so I can meet the challenge of this goal. Not giving up!

UPDATE! Today’s goal met! Pushed through the funk in the cold, but the drizzle had stopped.