I look up and see the stars shining bright.
The moon rises as do my spirits.
Knowing you are here in this world,
Sometimes this is enough
to settle my soul and make me smile.
As long as we are both here, there is a chance
We won’t have to wait until next time.
I wonder if you ever think the same.
A voice boomed inside my head several years ago. Write a book!
Of course this voice came to me in the bathroom of all places….greatest source of ideas for thinkers, aside from dreams and long quiet walks, that is!
I ignored it. I write for a living…mundane and boring and precise writing mind you. But not for entertainment…well, at least not for a long time. What I have written could fill volumes…. Specifications and requirements to capture the visions of others and make them understandable for the magicians behind the code.
Why would I write….a book?! I kept pushing that voice aside. Not now. Not ever. Not, well, maybe.
I am still trying to figure it out. I haven’t written any books yet. But I started this site to push myself to find what I’d enjoy writing about. I hope you, the reader, are enjoying the journey with me. Some fantasy, some fiction, some travel, some things just out of this crazy head of mine!
I also returned to a long lost interest in reading too…I was recently engrossed in a series called Echo (https://dirtyscifibuddha.com/ aka Kent Wayne – Thanks for the trip!) If you like military fighting, mixed with mysticism, mixed with self discovery, check it out.
So, I’ll let you know if, no, when, I write that book. Sometimes we have to listen to that voice in our head, that beat in our heart, that tingle in our gut, to find the right direction.
At least now, I’m listening.
“Is Officer Tatum in?” Carol asked the officer at the counter and nervously tapped her short nails. The deputy looked her over and waved her back to his office.
“Bill, hey, I needs some information. A little background on this whole fiasco at Shana Lee’s place. Could you help?”
Officer Tatum looked at Carol with a perplexed look. “What do you mean background? Shana dropped all charges, there’s nothing more to cover.”
Carol had to decide quickly how much to reveal to Bill. She hemmed a bit before continuing on. “Can you just help me close out the facts on the original arrest of John and, more minorly, the night his vehicle was vandalized? I want to confirm I have the right dates.” She handed her notes to Bill.
Bill looked her notes over, and looked back at Carol. He knew she was digging for more information for some reason, but hadn’t put why together yet. “Well, I can help you with the vandalization, but John was arrested by the county police, so I don’t have any of that information. You’ll have to head over to the county seat to get any details there.”
Carol smiled, she was getting somewhere with her research. At least she didn’t hit a brick wall.
Bill looked up the case number in the computer. “Carol, this is a very old case. It was a paper file according to the system and was never fully scanned in. Unfortunately, we had a fire a couple years ago, those case records are long gone.”
Carol grimaced. “Does the system at least give a date? Maybe I can find some info out another way.” Really, all she needed was the date to confirm her suspicion that the diary was Johanna’s.
“The file here says March 23, 1999. But that’s the day it was filed. Looks like it was March 22nd, or that weekend at least,” Bill commented. “Heck, that was the year after I graduated!”
Carol looked at Bill. He appeared much older than a man approaching 40. His hair was already mostly grey with just a few remnants of brown.
But that date ties to the journal’s dates. “Bill, thank you. That’s just the information I need!” Carol stuck out her hand and gave him an enthusiastic shake.
Bill wasn’t sure why Carol was, well, ecstatic with just the date. He looked at her puzzled. “Just be careful out there. Not sure what your getting into, but stay out of trouble.”
Carol smiled, but it wasn’t time to reveal her hand just yet. She was still putting together the pieces. “Sure. Will do. Thanks again, Bill!” With that she waved a farewell to him and headed out the door.
It was a cold winter’s day after in Colorado. She was visiting on a whirlwind trip and falling in love with being in the Springs.
Bundled in a sweater, jeans, and shoes good enough to walk in the ice, she walked into the Seven Falls attraction with her main reason for her visit.
As they stepped out into the basin, a wintery scene appeared all around them. The snow had paused, but the falls were mostly frozen. Snow dusted areas in shade.
They decided to climb up the steep staircase to get a better view, stopping to take a photo now and then. The falls dripped icy cold water in places and they could see the water running in some places under the ice crust.
It was chilly, so she huddled against his back, stealing some of his warmth, and holding his belt buckle to steady herself as he kept her going up.
The craggy rocks and evergreen pines filled in the scene around the falls. They ascended to a platform and wondered at the scenery for a bit.
The snow began to softly fall as they descended back down the staircase. She grew sad, as her trip was going too fast. She could only hope that she’d make it back here someday.
Late last year, I set out on a journey for my own health. I am slowly making progress, but I have seen my second wave of good results this past month.
I began first by just tracking what I ate last October. No diet changes. It is eye opening if you’ve never done this before. Nothing was way crazy with my diet, but tracking made some bad habits very apparent.
As a note, I am a middle-aged woman who has fought weight battles since age 5. So, unlike guys who can just think about dieting and lose 5 pounds, I have to work at it!
Next, I straightened up those bad habits. By December, the 5 COVID pounds I had gained were gone. I still let myself enjoy food, just in moderation now.
Christmas Eve, while talking with my mom, a couple harsh realities smacked me in my face…not my Mom, mind you! One was the realization that I had gotten myself to a place I didn’t like….and it was up to me to address it.
I knew I needed to do more, but needed to set a why. Just feeling better should have been a good enough motivator. I found a beautiful location I would like to visit one day, the Jacob Hamblin Arch, in Utah. Now, for me to do that, I need a much smaller body, the ability to hike for two days with a pack, and the ability to use a rope to climb up and down in some spots during the hike. Hey, go big or go home as they say!
So, I decided to tackle the most basic aspect first…walking the walk! I built up my walking from an average of 2,000 steps a day to now over 10,000 steps a day. I have currently dropped another 12 pounds.
I have a long way to go, and there are days I’d still rather sleep or lounge all evening on the sofa, but I keep giving myself no room for that complacency. I’d love any hints and guidance from any hikers on where to go next!
I know I will hit plateaus, but I am going to work like hell to overcome them. I will be my own cheerleader on this journey.
If you are on a similar journey, don’t give up. We can do this!
Carol sat at her desk, pouring over the blue leather journal. It dated back several years.
The writer had poured her heart into it, capturing a variety of thoughts, hopes and dreams. As Carol kept reading, she found references to Gary and John which seemed to date back to high school for the writer.
Could these be Gary Smith and John? Carol needed some real facts to tie this journal to them.
John and I went to the movies this evening. When we walked out, his truck had been vandalized. While we waited for the cops to investigate, I swear, I saw Gary drive down the street real slow. You know, like a criminal returning to the scene of the crime. It couldn’t be though; what did Gary have against John? I dismissed it as coincidence; maybe he saw us and just was curious.
Wow, could there been some rivalry there? Carol jotted down the date of the journal. She might be able to verify if this was actually the same John with Officer Tatum from the police records. She continued to peruse the journal for other clues. The entries continued to convince her these were from Johanna.
Gary is outside again, just sitting in his car. Why does he do this? Too nervous to come to the door? I just don’t get it. Dad thinks it’s funny. “Why doesn’t he just come up and ask you out?” he keeps asking. “It’s not like you have a boyfriend right now.” Geesh, Dad, thanks!
Carol noted the fact that Gary seemed obsessed a little with Johanna. There were a couple entries, from a date gone wrong to just plain awkward interactions Johanna noted. It could have just been a crush, though. Teens do crazy things.
Carol continued to dig. Johanna kept some notes about her feelings and her desires. Details about some dates, and other revealing tidbits over a couple years. Some things probably not relevant for Carol’s research however.
Then she read this entry.
John was arrested today. There is no way he did this. We just reunited, but I know he’s better than this!
Carol made note of the date; another one to check with Officer Tatum. She set the book aside. “I have to find out if these line up before going any further,” she scolded herself. “I need some facts before I get too carried way.”
Good bye 2020! This last year has been a real ride.
2021 is upon us. I awoke this morning to a new day and found my way to the soft sand of Melbourne Beach to watch the sunrise.
The waves churned against the shore as the dark faded away to the dawn. I was kissed by a rogue wave, up to my knees, as I walked along the surf. It was refreshing and cool, soaking through my sneakers.
I found a high spot in the sand and settled in to see the Sun’s glow against the distant clouds. Slowly it shone through the breaks and illuminated this new day.
Happy New Year!
A cup of tea for me,
a cup of joe for thee,
and a calm night
it will be.
Dreaming of lives never lived,
she wakes and wonders.
Could those lives had been her own?
As she returns to the real world, she ponders
lives full of adventure and travel,
lives with sophistication and grace,
one of a blue-eyed child, never to be her own,
and one with a love from long ago.
Were these just whims of fantasy and wishes
or glimpses into what could have been?
Welcome to my blog. This is a creative outlet for me to share my thoughts, my memories, and my musings. I hope you enjoy what you find. Please share your comments with me; it is how I learn where to improve.
Dawn Renee Writes 