Chaos in the Quiet

My mind spins at high speed, almost incessantly. There is nothing to distract me in the quiet moments. I have endless conversations with myself, with my dad, with you, and others in my brain.

I hope to find peace in these times, but it is so well hidden. I am changing, and I am unsettled. However, I finally feel I am moving towards something, instead of burying myself with more.

I need to remember to keep some things close, protected, quiet; although I wish to shout out to the world. The world, it does not care. The world will tear it away. I’ve had enough of that.

This time, I do it for me, not for others, not even for just you. I’m thankful to the mirrors other have shown me in these past six months. Some I could clearly see and am respectfully and diligently working on.

This latest one though, it still is covered in a haze. It is the hardest one for me to work through. When this started I thought you might need me. Maybe, then, I thought, I need you.

Have patience with me while I find me and figure this all out. Please, don’t give up on me.

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