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Dimmed….

Ever get that feeling that nothing is flowing, nothing can come out of your mind? All creativity is trapped in your brain and the only bits that come out do not make much sense?

I thought it was all because I was exhausted, working too much at my paying job over the past few months. So, I took a break from that and it helped a few days. But I’ve back at my normal load again, and the block is back.

Exhaustion set back in and I know it is all mental. I look over things I put together in the past and see the sources of my inspiration, but now I’m trying to find just a glimmer of that, a small spark to start me on my way again. It escapes me, like trying to hold onto time.

Thanks for continuing to read what comes out of this brain. I’ll keep working on it; hopefully that spark will be back soon.

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A Turn More Serious

As I sit here in the apparent Petri dish of the land, Florida, I find I am growing numb feeling for people who come down with severe cases of COVID who choose not to be vaccinated.

I feel for those who cannot get vaccinated due to being under 12 or have legitimate health issues. I feel for those who have breakthrough infections who have been immunized. Let me make that clear. But I no longer feel sorry for anyone who refused to get the vaccine at this point. I don’t want you to die, I simply no longer feel for you.

I will still wear a mask, because I care enough to not want others to get sick, but I am only having to do this because your D-A didn’t do your part…. So understand me as I glare at you with daggers coming out of my eyes and take a wide berth walking around your sorry A. I would like to be able to go mask free again sometime this year…get it done!

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Fresh Pens and Paper

The Target commercial is already playing in my head… “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”

It’s that time of year again. The displays are stocked with pens and pencils and markers. Shelves are filled with papers, spirals, and notebooks galore.

Even as an childless adult, it makes me smile to see back-to-school supplies. Shopping for supplies was one of my favorite things to do all the way through even my college years.

I remember one year, in middle school I believe, picking up a waterfall themed trapper keeper. It was covered with greenery and bright pink flowers. It was one of my favorites.

I am such a nerd. I still find reasons to stock up this time of year…pens, spirals, even little zippered pen holders now and then. It reminds me that cooler weather and fall is coming with its change of seasons… Soon it will be time to bust out the deep purple, garnet and orange shirts. I wish I could say sweaters, but, you know… Florida…


What’s your favorite time of the year?

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Chlorine Girl

This morning, I drove by our local pool store, like I do every morning. However, this morning it brought back fond memories…


I was the Chlorine Girl starting at the age of nine. For three years, I worked for my folks after school, on weekends and during summers as they set up and ran various pool stores in sunny Florida. Child labor laws? Ha! Not when it’s family! Honestly, it was a fun job for 50 cents an hour. I did more than just fill chlorine jugs…but boy, did I fill jugs!

Customers would come in, greet my Dad or Mom and bring their empties back to me. I would fill them up and place them on the cart, then wheel them up to the register when they were ready. To this day, I can not stand the smell of chlorine!

It was always fun when our customers would bring in pool water samples. I felt like a little chemist, measuring out the water into the vials, adding drops, shaking it, then reading out the results. Sometimes it’s the nerdy things I did that make me smile!

On the flip side, I would also pretend to be this grand host, putting on the best of the best poolside parties. We sold patio furniture and all those outdoor housewares…Tervis, Stotter Ware, napkins and such. I learned different ways to fold napkins and created all sorts of ways to make tablescapes. It was silly girl fun, and probably why I have our dining room set with napkins and placemats to this day!

If I wasn’t working while at the store, I was doing homework either at one of the tables if it were quiet or back in the office. Working was way more fun! Good times…

Well, thanks for letting me journey down memory lane a bit today. Have a great one!

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Plight of the Lefty

I was born this way, a lefty. My grandparents grew up in a time where lefties were considered touched by demons. In their generation, they would force lefties to only use their right hand. So, my mother is ambidextrous. But for me, there was hope.

Life in the righty world can be hard for lefties. So much is rigged against us. Scissors are made backwards. School chairs are made with the arm rests on the right. Even the games we play work better if you’re a righty. Rumor has it, lefties have more accidents just because we exist in a right-handed world.

That’s just what the world offers. So, lefties, we adapt. Some of my adaptations appear strange to the outside world. Others often go unnoticed as I’ve worked hard to blend in. I’m always amazed when someone sees me sign a document and proclaim to those around us, “Wow! You’re a lefty!”

I just smile and continue on.

Spiral notebooks are the devil for us. But I still love them. Instead of my paper being straight out or slightly angled to the left, I place it almost perpendicular to my body when I write. It’s the only way I can reduce ink getting all over my hands.

Those school desks? Well, when I would arrive to class, I would turn it 90 degrees, just so I could pay attention to the teacher and write my notes. It always bothered me when a teacher would make me “sit straight”… they didn’t understand the adaptation wasn’t showing off, and I’d typically not do quite as well in their class than if they’d just let me be.

Scissors can still be a challenge for me, even in my forties. It depends on what I’m cutting. And don’t get me started on “lefty” scissors…they are worse than suffering through the “normal” version, and were probably designed by a righty!

But, there is one great saying that comes from being a lefty….we’re in our right mind. Oh, I wish that were really true, but we all know the reality, don’t we?

Happy Sunday!

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“Christmas Eve/Sarajevo” – TSO

It’s Christmastime. She’s sitting in the drive, windows rolled up, air conditioning going full blast. She’s in no hurry to go in to entertain the family sitting in the living room. There’s time for that. For now, she needs to listen.

The music starts to play…purely instrumental, purely orchestral, purely rock. Some may be shocked; it’s her second favorite holiday song behind Fogelberg’s “Same Old Lang Syne”. She reaches for the volume and turns it up, as loud as her car speakers can handle. The windows and mirror begin to vibrate.

Carol of the Bells and God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen are amped up and electrifying. She closes her eyes. She feels the beat and moves her hands against the steering wheel before her.

She’s transported to another place, frozen over, snow falling, a vision of an eerily silent place fills her mind….a far distance away from the hot Florida holiday. She gets lost in the sounds for three and a half minutes.

The song closes. She breathes, and turns off the car. Time to see the family.


It’s that time of year, where thoughts of cooler weather and the holidays start in my world…Christmas in July. Growing up, my dad would pull out his tapes, and later, CDs, and begin playing holiday music this month. I’ll be sharing various snippets this month in honor of his memory. I hope you enjoy this a little blast of Winter as the summer heat settles in.

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Wishes

I wish I’d had a little Boo,

A sweet little girl, wide-eyed and innocent.

Big eyes, the color of her Dad’s,

Brown hair like her Mom’s in pigtails

And an infectious giggle that didn’t stop.

Joy and laughter,

coloring and running around.

A love for her monster Sully, ever so sweet.

I wish I’d had a little Boo.

A sweet little girl to read fairytales to,

Spinning up some special stories just for her.

Watching her grow and blossom.

I wish I’d had a little Boo.

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Good Friends

You know you’re good friends when:

You don’t clean before they arrive.

They’ve seen you without makeup.

They’ve seen you with your hair a mess.

You can laugh together at being stupid.

You can cry in front of them and they know

whether to hug you or slap you silly, or both…

And you have conversations about poop.

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Swipe Right

If you’ve been single at any time in the past few decades, you likely have heard of, if not joined, some sort of online dating site. These sites have you build profiles, highlights of yourself, answer questions, all that good stuff, to help with the matching of your profile with someone else.

I haven’t had use for these sites in well over a decade, but recently, someone from high school reminded me that the concept was not anything new and harkened back to a time in high school, long before the internet, where kids filled out questionnaires and were “matched” with three potential candidates.

I’m sure it was all innocent, meaning to help people meet each other. But they reminded me of the fights that broke out when the matches were, well, unexpected. Established couples broke up, boys got in fights over girls, and vice-versa, and people were disheartened when their crush didn’t show up on their list.

I didn’t immediately remember this, but I thought about it for a while, and slowly, some details came back for me. Was I honest on the questionnaire? Most likely. Did I get matched up with some people? Sure. But, here’s what I really remember.

See, I was an introvert and I had a good relationship with my folks. Anyway, I had the results stuck in my English book and showed them to my Dad one day. He laughed, then scoffed at me. “Just get rid of that list. If there’s a boy who likes you, he’ll come look for you. You don’t need to be seeking him out.”

With that, the list was taken from my book, and tossed. The names, forgotten. My dad was old-fashioned in that way. He felt girls should let the boys come to them. To this day, I think this is one reason why I only went out on a few dates in high school. Boys didn’t seek me out.

I learned from that lesson that sometimes, you have to initiate contact or ask for what you want, contrary to what my Dad believed. Heck, I had to ask my senior prom date, a friend only at the time, to take me; otherwise I would have probably not gone.

I love the fairytale where the knight in shining armor rides up and sweeps a lady off her feet just as much as the next; but I also learned I wouldn’t have companionship if I sat back and waited. I did wait at times. I waited much too long, but my knight didn’t show up. Sometimes, you just have to make your fairytales work with what you’ve got and who you can. Otherwise, life just passes you by.

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Observation

Today, I sat in a room with 10 others, working on a major project. The room was full of people with a variety of technical skills…electricians, networking, engineering… and various managers. (Social distancing and masks were all in play!) As I sat there, contributing like the rest, I couldn’t help but recognize I was the only woman in the room.

I wasn’t uncomfortable, and everyone treated me as an equal. I work with other women as well, but just not in this scenario.

It makes me wonder however, why meetings like this are so unbalanced when it comes to gender. Are women not interested in technology? No, I know that isn’t true. Do men block advancement? Maybe, but that didn’t seem to be the case here!

So, ladies, and girls growing up, go for it. If you like to build or invent, or analyze and plan, or lead, follow that desire! I’d enjoy seeing a few other ladies in the room along the way!